Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
