you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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