North Korea, Best Korea!
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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