Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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