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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
