whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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