k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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