Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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