dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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