Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
