Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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