No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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