so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
