he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Randomize
