I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
he just fucked me for my cheese.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
