Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You dont lie about slip and slides
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
this is an emotional support booty call
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
