How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
i think my cat just said my name.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
