Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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