No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
you never un-have a 4some
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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