I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
