but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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