God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Randomize
