Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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