You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
