Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
