So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
