The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize