I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize