Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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