the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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