This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
