So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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