Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
