Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I deserve this hangover.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
