I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
