its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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