What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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