You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
