We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize