I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
