anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize