My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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