I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Tornado booty call.. dedication
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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