I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
