i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
