I smell stomach acid.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
