Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
