If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
