Dual....:-)
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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