you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
my being single is dangerous.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
