Your mouth is God's brothel.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
