I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
