I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
