It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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