What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
